It’s already been over a month since we shouted “Happy New Year” , and while I may still occasionally write “18” instead of “17", I know I have definitely long kissed 2017 goodbye.
Not that 2017 was bad for me; I had an amazing year (you can see my recap of the year on my Instagram highlights and my YouTube channel). But ever since January 1st, I’ve officially switched back into work mode and life has been moving 100km/h. The new year has grabbed me by the shoulders and screamed in my face: “JANE, ITS 2018. 2017 IS GONE NOW, AND THE LC IS IN 5 MONTHS!”.
I’ve hardly had time to ‘reflect’ on last year, or to even make resolutions and goals (other than, I don’t know, maybe study?) and all that jazz for 2018. However, I almost feel better not doing so. To be honest, I don’t tend to look at the start of the year as a chance ‘to start again’, or ‘change myself’ anyway. Maybe it’s because I’m content, or maybe, and more likely so, it’s just because I’m a secondary school student who doesn’t have the time to ponder on my purpose in life because I have homework, i.e. just in the break gone past, I had English essays to do, and I wrote one on New Years Eve, and wrote the other on New Years Day. New year, same English homework. Nothing can really change for me. Yet.
I am beyond excited for 2018. Needless to say, it will be one of the most important year of my life, as clichéd as that sounds.
It will be the year I become an adult, both in that I’ll be eighteen and also in that I’ll be bidding my secondary school days adieu and welcoming college into my life with a warm embrace. It’ll be the year of firsts and lasts, beginnings and endings. It can be so hard to believe for me, that it feels like all of these things are far, far ahead into the future.
But, recently, I’ve learnt that they’re not that far ahead of me at all. Already my mock exams are creeping up on me (next Wednesday now... pray for me). Next thing I know I’ll be graduating. The next moment I’ll be placing down my pen, with my shaky, tired hand, after finishing my Religion exam on 23rd June. It’s a scary but at the same time exhilarating thought. As with most Leaving Cert students, I can imagine, I want time to speed up... but also slow down.
I want the Leaving Cert over with, but shudder at the thought of mocks being around the corner, let alone the real thing itself. I don't want time to go too fast that I'm not ready for it.
It’s a school year like this, when I’m constantly against the clock for homework due or a poetry essay in the exam hall, that I realise that time has become a sort of enemy of mine. It’s taking control of me this year - from limiting me in what I can do in my day, to running away from me during a test, and to taunting me into thinking that day by day, time is slowly passing by, when, really, its pressing the fast forward button on me.
In the very few blogposts I’ve written as of late, including this one, I guess, I feel like I always have some sort of light complaint about my life a Leaving Cert student. Don’t get me wrong; I am enjoying my last year of secondary school, as surprising as that sounds. The work is demanding, yes, and time- consuming, yes, and draining, very much so, but I’m still enjoying school life when I'm not hating the books. Whether that’s with French debating and hockey matches, or History projects and lunchtime chats, I’m making the most of it.
Leaving my school will be the end of an era, and I’ll miss it. But, boy, I cannot wait to be able to have more control over my time, to study English at uni and ditch the maths forever!
Bring on the mocks.
Bring on the Leaving.
Bring on 2018.